gotta stay motivated

So I am thinking, maybe if i make it public it will have more effect to stick. 170....one hundred seventy pounds. gross. that is how much i weigh after having little miss livi girl. I was down to 165 but I gained 5 of it back on our trip from Washington to Texas with all the fast food we ate, Ive been craving salads so much lately, i am guessing my body had enough of all that crap. well let me tell you 50lbs is what i am gonna have gone by the time mike gets home in about 6 months. its going to be a struggle especially since i have to get my thyroid back in shape, y'all should see my neck its so damn swollen, i need my medicine altered. I am so tired of looking in the mirror and not feeling the slightest big attractive, I used to be confident in my looks, as bad and self centered as it sounds i used to feel people checking me out lol now i feel like they are saying how huge and ugly i am. my self confidence flew out the roof when i had kenzy and i didnt even get stretch marks with her, but man did i get some with Alivia, she made sure to make a statement... she gave me thighs, and ass and a flabby belly to prove that i was pregnant. Although my girls are worth every pound, every stretch mark and every extra blah that i feel im ready to lose them all! i want mike to come home from this deployment and when he gets off the bus i wanna see him looking for his wife and be standing right there in front of him. i really want to WOW the pants off of him. my mom has a treadmill now and since Alivia likes her swing there is no reason i cant start working out. I also gotta learn to tell that cookie jar to take a hike down cookie monsters alley! anyways, i need motivation, i guess when your three year old looks at you with your shirt off and says "mommy cover that up its gross" that should be enough to get my ass moving, but it wasn't, so i think putting it public on how much i weigh will embarrass me enough to lose it. so each month i will blog about my progress and update my weight. thanks for reading my much personal and much embarrassing post.