Almost a Mommy

Four years ago today I was not a mommy, I didn't have any responsibilities other than eating right and doing my housework. Four years ago I was NOT a mommy, i was almost one.  Saying I was not a mommy out loud just seems unreal because for Almost four years now My name has been, Mama, mommy, mom and mooooooooooooooooommmmy! I cant imagine my life without being called Mommy. Four years ago today i was miserable, crying and throwing a fit, i was supposed to already be a mommy! Mckenzy was 1 day late and i wanted her today because its my grandmas birthday, but the hospital had no beds or rooms to induce me so i had to come back tomorrow. that meant one more day of being pregnant, one more day of pondering what my little angel was going to look like, how big she was going to be, hair or no hair, daddy's looks or mine. Four years ago today was the longest day of my life! little did i know that at this time of 2:56pm 24hrs from now i would be holding the most amazing thing i have ever seen, id become the most important person in this little girls life, id become her everything and as much as i knew id love her i never realized how much id REALLY love her. McKenzy made me a mommy, she made me a better person, she is my everything and more. i can not imagine my life without this precious little ball of energy and love. she has the biggest heart in that little tiny body of hers. She is an amazing daughter, the best big sister, and she is just the most amazing child i have ever laid eyes on. AMAZING. I cant believe in a mere 24hrs she will be Four years old, she starts preschool this year, as much as i am excited to watch her venture into her own little world of friends and learning to write her name amongst other means of learning, i cant help but feel my heart break into a million pieces, shes big now. like really big. she tells me whats up half the time lol. she got up this morning put Barney into the dvd player and pressed play and watched it with her sister, all the while i was still snoozing lol. she is just so grown up and has so much talent. i may be rambling but there is just so much to this 28lb little girl than anyone can ever imagine. she makes me smile and laugh everyday. she has the biggest heart and so much love i think if it were possible to explode with love she would already be in Japan! When i had mckenzy my life changed, i became a better version of myself just with less patience as the years have passed lol. I hope mckenzy knows how much i love her and i hope when she can read she reads this mumble jumble of a blog and says wow my mom loves me so much she doesn't even know how to put it into words, and i hope one day when she becomes a mother to a son or a daughter that her heart beats the way mine does every time i see her smile. mckenzy i love you princess, i know i cant stop time and i cant make you stay little but you have promised me that you will grow slow so i guess thats just gotta have to suffice. but if i could i hope i can help you grow into a god loving, god serving and noble little girl. you are already on the track with your sweet prayers every night. I love you princess to the moon and back and 20 times more as you say. Happy ALMOST 4th birthday. thank you for making my life amazing, thank you for being the spunky little girl, the best big sister and most importantly my little girl.