Not Gonna Lie

So as most of you know, Mike is deploying sometime the end of this year before the holidays. I have been telling myself over and over that its a good thing, and trying to look on the bright side of the situation that when he comes home well be debt free! meaning anything we wanna do or where ever we wanna take the girls we can we wont have to worry about the credit card bills that take up half our checks.... BUT I cant help but stay up all night sometimes crying and sometimes just thinking of all hes gonna miss, all I am going to miss, and most of all what the girls are going to miss.. Alivia is going to be about 6wks when he leaves, he is going to miss her first smile, and laugh and possibly word, first time sitting up and crawling and trying new foods all of it including her first holidays, i tell myself well at least he saw all that with Mckenzy, but its still painful to think im going to enjoy all of that alone. and then the subject of Mckenzy just tears me apart, she IS a daddys girl to the Tee, she knows when he should be home, she waits for him, they play and laugh together everyday, she wakes up and asks "mommy is daddy at work?" and then after i answer she proceeds with " hes gonna be home after my nap?" both of the answers to her questions are yes. Mike often comes home for lunch or to say hi or drop off a coffee being the wonderful husband he is, and she cries when he leaves running to the door or the window saying "i want my daddy back." it kills me to think my answer to her first question will be yes for 6+ months and my answer to her 2nd will be no for that period of time as well, and i dont know what shes gonna think when she only sees him thru the computer and asks for him back. Mike is going to leave a 3.5yr old and a 6wk old and come back to a 4yr old and a 7-8mth old. Im going to miss him so much, 6 yrs with him and hes been gone a total of 12mths, he is my best friend, the one i go to when i need comfort or a laugh, he makes me smile just by watching him with our daughter, he drives me nuts but i wouldnt trade any of it for anything or anyone, he is my lifetime the one i will grow old with and as much as i try to tell myself that its gonna be okay and that ill be okay ill have my family around.... its going to be VERY hard.